Who Loved You Into Being?

Have you seen the movie “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”? I am really glad that I had the opportunity to see it. The story-line is compelling, and the directing and acting were fantastic.

There were numerous take-a-ways from this movie for me.

If the portrayal of Fred Rogers was accurate, and after doing very brief research I found no indication otherwise, he was a genuinely kind man. A man who loved people and wanted his life to count for something good.

In fact, in a CNN interview he said, "I went into television because I hated it so, and I thought there's some way of using this fabulous instrument to nurture those who would watch and listen".

Mr. Rogers wasn’t perfect, I know this because he was human. He professed to be a Christian. He rarely spoke about his faith on air and was said to believe that teaching through example was often as powerful as preaching. He also said that many of the messages expressed in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood were inspired by the core tenets of Christianity.

Fred Rogers was gifted in using silence to get others to reflect. His slower cadence, while it could be uncomfortable at times, could also offer a calm assurance. He was an intentional listener.

Maybe my favorite scene from the movie is one that takes place between Fred Rogers and Lloyd Vogel, a reporter writing a story on him for Esquire magazine. (The reporters real name was Tom Junrod and the article “Can You Say…Hero?” was published in November of 1998). Fred asked Lloyd who loved him into being. An awkward silence followed and clearly Lloyd is uncomfortable with the conversation.

During the Emmy Awards in 1997, Fred Rogers was recognized with a Lifetime Achievement Award. You really need to follow the link below to listen to his very brief speech and watch the tearful eyes as the camera scanned the room. He used ten seconds of silence to allow those listening to think about the people in their lives that loved them into being. It was beautiful. https://youtu.be/Upm9LnuCBUM

You may also have caught a recent interview on the Today Show with Hoda and Jenna. Hoda interviewed part of the cast of “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”. There was a touching moment when Tom Hanks turned the interview back on Hoda, asking who loved her into being. Again, that question seemed to bring tears. Why is that?

I have a theory.

I don’t think we are accustomed to people asking us meaningful questions like that. Most of our interactions are very superficial in nature. Not only with strangers, but in conversations with family and our closest of friends.

Is it fear that keeps us from opening up and being authentic? Is it pride that hinders us from showing care and compassion to one another?

I asked myself the question, who has loved me into being? There isn’t just one person that stands out for me. I was blessed to have many people lovingly shape different areas of my life. Family and friends alike have poured into me throughout these fifty plus years.

Maybe a better question to ask is this one: Would your name come to someone’s mind when asked that question? It’s not too late to begin looking for those around who would benefit from forgiveness and compassion. (I can assure you that there is not a shortage of those!)

Mr. Rogers had a way of talking in a slow, calm cadence and using moments of silence to communicate that he was all in. He didn’t seem rushed or bothered by the interruption to his day, but rather gave off the impression that nothing was more important than the person in front of him at the time.

Take that into the home. With all that we have to accomplish in a 24 hour period of time, being still and being quiet just doesn’t fit into our schedules. At what cost are we throwing away silence?

I welcome you to try an experiment with me. Throughout the rest of the year, I plan to intentionally attempt to slow my breathing and my speech and allow a split second of silence between sentences.

I’m jumping into the deep end and plan to talk about things that matter and reduce the amount of small talk in my life. That isn’t to say that I won’t be silly and goofy and laugh throughout the conclusion of 2019. Laughter is good! However, I want to recognize those moments when I can help another person be heard and show grace to them.

This Christmas season, slow down!

The greatest gift we can give another person is the gift of our attention and our time. Start within the walls of your own home. Listen more than you speak, and you may marvel at what you learn.

Who knows, it may help create truly beautiful days in your neighborhood!

Until next time, step gracefully!